Respect

Today I was blessed to be able to be a traveling companion to my sweet Ek to Macon to see a Dr. Seuss Musical. It was quite fun. Although I will confess, very difficult at times to stay awake in a dark theater while sitting still, not something I'm used to! Back to the show, the show was very fun, very lively and colorful and musical, as well it should be. The kids seemed quite entertained and got stir crazy at times, but always quiet and focused. I love, love the main thought of "Horton hears a Who," which was part of the story line: "A person is a person no matter how small." Now isn't that worthy of hearing! I guess it just strikes me that the little people in my care, and not for that matter, are worthy of my respect. I am worthy of theirs as well, that's just how God made it, but they are worthy of my respect. They need kindness, explanation, patience, a listening ear and well just time to grow. Oh and love, lots and lots of love. And I do, love them that is.

Truth

Henry David Thoreau said, "Rather than love, than money, than fame give me truth." Well I think I may change it around a bit. Today I felt I experienced the great truth that I am loved. No matter how it was expressed, through an text message, a gift or a word, tonight as I reflect on my day, I know I am blessed and loved.

Good night 30

Well I guess I'm all done being 30, now on to 31. 30 was really great though. Watched my kids grow another year, amazing how much they've changed, especially little L. And there isn't another one on the way, so I've had a different winter this year, not nursing or pregnant. Therefore I've been able to make some fitness goals and it will be during my 31 year that I'll see if I can keep them! I was able to go to some amazing conferences, Deeper Still, the Christian Ophthalmology Society to hear Kay Arthur and the AFUMC retreat! The Lord has blessed me tremendously this year with knowledge and wisdom. I guess that's another that we will see how that wisdom has applied! We changed churches. That was a biggie and yet, I can't imagine not being where we are. Sometimes I feel like we are still getting settled and other times I feel like we've always been there. I've made new friends, I've grown closer to the ones I've got. John and I are better than ever. And I'm closer to my family more than ever. Sitting this evening and pondering on what this year has been full of has been sweeter than birthday cake. It has truly been a year. I'm ready for another one. H said tonight as he was tucking me in that tomorrow he wanted to go buy me a new Bible and a new coffee cup! How well does that boy know his momma? Ek is just desperate to wrap something for me, she just doesn't know what. I'm blessed. See you in my memories 30!

Sweet time

We had an amazingly sweet time with Ek tonight. Sometimes on Sunday instead of reading a Bible story we allow the kids to ask a question, a spiritual one. So here's what happened:

Ek: So I know that Jesus died on a cross for our sins, but why do we sin?
Whoa a deep one! Pause while we put tired L to bed so we can hear each other.
OK back,
J: Do you remember the story of Adam and Eve? How Eve took the apple and ate it when God had told her not to, she disobeyed and since then we all sin and cannot please God.
K: God has made us and he loves us and because he made us, he knows what is best for us. If we trust him then we will obey him and know that is always what is best for us.
Ek is appeased with no further questions.
Then I ask them how I can pray for them this week before we pray.
Ek: You can pray for my cough.
We suggest to H that we pray that he will obey.
Ek: Oh, you can pray for me too to be kind.
K: Do you know how you can be kind? When we ask Jesus to forgive us of our sins, and tell him that we want to follow him and obey him, then Jesus comes and lives in our hearts. We call him also the Holy Spirit when he lives in our heart. The Holy Spirit makes fruit that comes out like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. The Holy Spirit helps us to be kind.
Ek: Well I thought I had Jesus living in my heart, but I don't.
J: Do you want Jesus to come and live in your heart?
Ek: Yes.
J: Do you trust that Jesus died on a cross for your sins and you want to live your life for him?
Ek: Yes.
J: Do you want to pray and ask Jesus to come into your heart or do you want me to help you?
Ek: I will pray, "Dear Jesus, will you please come and live in my heart? Amen"

We are so thankful that God continues to teach Ek from his Word and gives us time with her to speak of Him. We are so thankful for those he has put around us to help us teach her as well. I just want to continue to see her grow and I know he has great plans for her life. I am just thankful that I get to be her mother to watch her life unfold. She is a great girl.

Date night

Last night after I got home from the retreat, about an hour later Reanna came to babysit so J could take me to dinner for my birthday. Note to self, good idea to have a quiet dinner with J upon returning from a retreat-- The kids did not mind at all and I got to download so much about what I had learned. We ate at Deanos and went to Blackbird for tea and cookies (that makes me giggle, but its true). We had a really nice time. I laughed about taking our picture at Blackbird, I felt a bit like a teenager wanting a picture of my boyfriend, but really I am just so amazingly grateful that after 8 years of marriage I really like having my picture made with him. He is a really great guy.

All aboard the Train

Several months ago mom called to say my former youth pastor was going to be speaking to a retreat of women from her church at Lake Oconee. "I'd love to go mom, that sounds great, let me check my calendar!" "Great! I'll sign you up tomorrow when I'm at the church." I love my mom. So it was Friday through Saturday. One of the organisers said they prayed that God would meet us where we were and boy did He! I just have felt a bit overwhelmed and lost lately in how to handle several issues with my H. Obeying quickly, Asking without whining and Pitching Fits. A friend of mine has teenagers and says to me way too often, "Big kids big problems, small kids small problems." I tend to disagree at this point. If I don't help H now, how will he look at 15 with these issues. shudder. Ok, back to the point. Mom and I were talking about it Friday night after the meeting. By the way the focus of the retreat was prayer. Mom reminded me that there is a difference between discipline and training. Which of course reminds me of the Proverb, "Train up a child in the way they should go and when they are older they will not depart from it." That statement coming from my mom open the floodgates for God to deal with me and teach me for the rest of the weekend. I felt like He completely changed my perspective on my role and H. H is not supposed to have it all together! He is 3! My role in his life is to teach him. Obviously this is not new information. LOL But, God spoke his word fresh with new life from the Living Word this weekend. I am ready now to help H, to train him to walk through this life well. To serve God and H in being his leader who disciplines but much more, to teach. And to look to Jesus who didn't expect his disciples, or us for the matter, to have it all together. But to take time, to love well, to pray, to serve, to teach and to lead by example. I really feel this is a big turning point in my life as mother. God took a verse that I have heard many times, and spoke it new into my heart. I am so grateful and can't wait to see what my daily life looks like now, as I submit to the Father, leaving my expectations on the floor where I pray in the morning, rising in the power of the Spirit to walk out in the fruit of the spirit to love my kids well with the goal of training them well to walk with Jesus too. Oh I am so grateful! So grateful to mom for signing me up. For those who prayed that prayer. And for God revealing His Word to me and teaching me!

Worship

Several days ago while riding in the car L was holding her hands open, palm up with her arms bent at the elbows; she was dancing side to side. H exclaims, "Look Mommy, L is praising the Lord!" love it.

This morning Ek got dressed in a pink dress that matched L's pink dress, I thought she would like to wear pink shoes to match L's pink shoes. "No, mommy, I need to wear my black ones because I can't jump on one foot good in my pink ones when we sing at church." love it.

My little Mommy

L has been showing her mothering side today. This morning H was rolling around on the floor crying, not sure now if it was a fit or an injury, nothing serious though, but she went over and hugged him- like his whole body, one arm on his shoulder and one on his knee, and kissed him. I smiled and laughed and so did H, so, of course she continued. See why I can't remember why he was crying? This afternoon we went over to play with Cat and kids a bit, she calls Maddy somewhere between "baby" and "Maddy" kinda like "Maby." L was keeping a very close what on her sippy cup for her, dispersing it when needed, but the best was just her general attention. She turns her head, like Maddy is so much smaller!, and just grins and talks to her, so sweet. Also this afternoon when we got into the car to go pick up Ek, H was already in the car and she blew him a kiss as I was putting her in her seat, he liked that. This evening at the counter for dinner her cabbage patch kid, Brennan was lying on the counter and L kept feeding her bites of her roll. That cracked me up. What a thoughtful girl. She is quite the nurturer.

I just have to add, this was from the next day when she was feeding her lunch to H's dinosaur, for some reason she crouches her shoulders down like that when she is in her nurturing mode.

Snapshots

Whenever I have to wake up Ek or H when L is awake, I try to take her along, they wake up much happier. This morning that was true, I sat on the edge of Ek's bed trying to gently wake up, she covered her face and laid there, until... L leaned down until their foreheads were touching and with the biggest grin called, "Hi K, Hi!" until Ek was grinning too. Then she just laid right beside her and kept talking to her and smiling at her until she was good and awake. So nice to have a helper! And so glad to have sweet sisters who love each other.

This morning we were in the playroom playing. J was on the couch sick. H and I were playing ball, I was rolling him the ball and he was kicking it as hard as he could. J covered his head with a pillow, I don't blame him. L joined in and after she threw the ball, she looked at J, "Hi Daddy," while clapping and nodding, like Daddy- clap for me! He did and we all laughed.

Monday Hunter, our neighbor came over during nap time. Ek wanted to play in the front yard for the sole reason of hoping Hunter or Blake would see her. Hunter did. He came over on the golf cart and they played toss the tube for a while and then got out the sidewalk chalk. Hunter traced Ek then they added a intertube, bathing suit, pool noodle, goggles, lemonade, a sunshine with chicken pox, lemonade, sunglasses and medicine for the lemonade and water for Ek to swim in. What a hoot. They had so much fun.

Also funny in the last week Ek and H have been paying so much attention to what I eat. They keep asking, "did Daniel eat that?" Today at lunch H: "Did Daniel eat potatoes? Did he eat grapes? Did he eat ham? Did he eat cheese crackers?" It has been a good time to learn about fruits and vegetables! They will sometimes say, I'm eating like Daniel or Daddy, you are not eating like Daniel. They are always watching!

Running slow

This morning something about a race came up at the breakfast table, can't remember how, its been a loooong day. sigh, ok, back to the point. Ek asked when the bike race was going to be. I think we are going to let her be in a kids bike race in Athens in April. I hadn't mentioned to her that I thought she would do a great job in the St. Patrick's Day race too. So I told her and she was quite excited. I said, "Maybe I could run with you and Daddy could run with H!" Ek, "No, I think I'll run with Daddy, he's much faster." In pipes H, "Me too! I want to run with Daddy too!" I'm not that slow! I guess I have a month to convince one of them of that!

I hope

I hope that my requests to my heavenly Father do not sound like H's requests to me. Sometimes he forgets to ask, he just whines for what he wants. Ohhhh that makes for a tough day. James 1:17 that says every good and perfect gift is from above. And I know God loves to take care of us and give us good gifts. I try to tell H this sometimes too, that I love to take care of him, he can ask me in a tone that reflects that. So tonight as I pray, I hope my heart and my tone convey trust and love. And I will pray for H that he will convey that in his voice tomorrow too.

Valentine's Day

J and I had a wonderful Valentine's Day. He arranged for his parents to keep the kids all day and spend the night. We went up to the mountains and just sat close and talked all day. I got to pick out lunch and we got take-out for dinner. I got to pick up some new furniture but mostly we just spent the day together. This morning we got up and had breakfast before returning home for church. ahhh.

Ok Ok so maybe I left a bit out. But we did have a really nice day. We drove to the lake with a u-haul stopping in Athens to drop off some chairs and pick up a sandwich for lunch. We drove on to the lake, did I mention I sat it the middle seat of the truck so we could sit close, yeah it was fun. So we loaded up stuff at the lake, spent a bit of time thanking God and reminiscing over some wonderful times there headed back to Athens. We unloaded a truck, reloaded a bit, picked up supper and headed back to the lake for more stuff and back to Athens. We fell into bed just before 1 so we could get up at 6:15, unload the truck and race back to Dublin to get ready for church. After lunch with the Williams, we moved our new furniture in and J collapsed into the couch after a hot bath and 2 Aleve. It was so busy, but it was wonderful, we were with family who we love to be with, we got to talk and talk, listen to wonderful music and several Beth Moore Esther teachings. Oh and eat yummy food including cookies sweet Milly and Will had made. And now I am settling in with my new things that are so special because they came from mom and dad. Great Valentine's Day. Thank you, God!

Thankful

Today J and I are headed north with u-haul in tow to help mom and dad move out of the lake house. deep breath. all I have is my prayer,
Thank you God for the wonderful gift of a beautiful gathering place. You gave us this amazing treasure where we could come together with people we love. The house wasn't the treasure because it couldn't hug us back, it couldn't respond to our laughter and our tears. The treasure was who was there. We gathered there with people we love to laugh and cry, but mostly to be together. We gathered after time apart to talk, to listen, to play, to hug, to be together. We gathered there straight after L's funeral and cried. Ben and Milly gathered there to begin their relationship, for Ben to ask Milly to marry him and on their honeymoon. We took friends there in college and got to play while mom and dad took care of us. We gathered there to rest. We gathered there to reflect. We gathered there to get away. We gathered there to watch our kids play, at the fishy house. We helped them catch fish. We helped them swim. We took them for their favorite boat ride to get ice cream with lots of paper towels with us. We gathered there with family, with Grady and Emma Jean, with Big Daddy and Memaw, with Jeni and family, with Meri and family, with Holly and other stayers at Lake Rabun. We gathered there with so many friends, most recently with Kim and girls while we prayed for the guys on mission trips. And we are just so grateful. So grateful for all the memories, the laughs, the conversations, the relationships. We had so much fun eating morning pancakes, skiing before anyone else was awake, riding the bullet, riding the bullet, floating in the cool water, swinging on the hammock, going for long walks, watching fireworks, watching sunsets, enjoying the sights of an amazing creation. I hope to spend the rest of my life thankful to the One who gives good and perfect gifts because we know exactly where this home was from. And now we join with Ek who is looking forward to the even funner lake house with the eternal hope that the God we serves loves to love us. And we love Him back. And look forward to the days ahead, wherever they may be. And the people ahead who we love to spend those days with.

Community

We got home late tonight because of a birthday party. L has had quite the social calendar lately. She was invited to bring the rest of us to a little friend's 2 year old party, he is the little brother of one of Ek's best friends. J was home sick with fever and sore throat, we were very sad to leave him home-- but we had such a wonderful time. The 3 little ones stayed under foot mostly playing and having a good time. L and the birthday boy are 3rd children and the other is a 4th child, so they are very similar in how they play. Ek stuck very closely to Caroline and H stuck very closely with the boys, 6 year old twins and 2 8 year olds. I would not have guessed that. We really didn't see much of the big kids, they played chase outside and Wii upstairs. We did see them for cake. :) My thought though, is how important community is. The father of the birthday boy was disappointed that his parents weren't there and oh goodness I would have been too. My kids are so blessed with their grandparents. I guess I am just struck again and again how wonderful it is to have others alongside while we try to raise our children. Others that will speak encouragement to them and us, who will help us see their uniqueness and how special they are, and to see how similar they all are and that we will survive-- and they will too. It is just wonderful to be with friends, and family, who love our kids too. I am thankful.

Maybe next time

I confess, I did nothing this morning to encourage my daughter to have a humble heart. Nope, not one bit. Here's the scene: Last night as I'm tucking her into bed, "mommy, did you finish my Valentine skirt or shirt." me, "I'm on my way!" So I lay them out on the counter for her to see this morning. She quickly gets dressed. ek, "Mommy, i can't wait to see what Destiny has on at school today, I bet she's going to be really cute." (background info: Destiny had on knee high boots with her chapel shirt and khaki skirt yesterday, ek was impressed) m, "Is she going to be cuter than you?" (explanation: I'm trying to feel out her love of the outfit I poured over. really!) ek, with lips pursed and eyes squinted, "no." pause. ek, "I wonder what Leah is going to wear, I bet she's going to be really cute." Ok, Ok I just couldn't help it. "Is she going to be cuter than you?" ek, with lips pursed again and eyes slightly squinted, "no." Maybe I should have taken the opportunity to taken the conversation in a deeper, more spiritual place, but really I was just so blessed that she loved the skirts. I am so thankful to be able to give her a gift she loves. By the way, at the party there were great outfits, but nobody noticed with all the cookie toppings on the table. tee-hee. it was a great party.

Dancing before school

At the party, with Sophia and Leah

Sharing the cookie

Curls

I know too much talk of hair can seem superficial, but not when I'm talking about sweet baby curls... right?! So here is another update of my baby girl's curls. Please giggle with me.

Not quite summer... but in the general area

Today it was in the 70s after school. Ek disappeared into the closet as soon as we got home to retrieve flip flops, she just couldn't stand it. While she was there she got H's too and told me that L needed some! We went out to play, jump, slide and then the big question came. "Can we swim?" So not surprised. But no. They got out the baby pool anyway and had a ball playing in it. All 3 of them. They mostly took turns climbing up the steps. L would turn around and slide down. Ek would do a little dance and song about swimming and then jump. H would jump as fast as he could. And when I say jump, I mean it. I noted something about my kids today. Ek jumps to get down. H jumps to go up. Both pictures were taken as soon as they jumped.

First fieldtrip

H took his first field trip today to Brian's subs. So much fun. They rode in mommy's cars although most asked about the bus to take them. They got to go in the kitchen to see the big sink, go in the walk in refrigerator and see the ovens. Then they got to stand on a bench beside Brian and "make" their sandwich-- they got to tell Brian what they wanted on it and see up close the cutter. Pretty exciting for a bunch of 3 and 4 year olds. Brain is so kind and encouraging, he said hello to H by name and even played Simon says just before we left. I am so thankful for people who encourage my kids. H seemed very pleased, he was his usual reserved self when in the spotlight, but from further comments I think he will always remember it and remember that he had fun making his own sandwich. Ek expressed great confidence in H too, she asked him to make her a sandwich as well. We will continue to eat at Brian's and only Brian's for great sandwiches.

Sweet and smart Ek

Ek really tickled me this morning when I was changing L, she got right in L's fussy face and said, "L, do you like your ba? where is your ba? do you love your babies?" she was trying to distract her. L's response was just what Ek wanted, she stopped crying and started "talking" to her. They talked back and forth for the remainder of the changing. I was so pleased at what a compassionate, helpful big sister she is.
This evening when we got in from a special youth service at church she was petitioning for some cold medicine, I think, by telling us her nose was "snocky." I liked that, I might even try to work it into my vocabulary, maybe Webster will pick it up one day as an alternative to snotty.
Also tonight before bed she was reading about 70% of the words in "Are you my mother?" book that we like to read. Amazing, I'm so pleased and thankful for how well she is learning.

We'll see

J and I signed up for the Atlanta Half Marathon tonight. Yikes! It's going to be a busy couple of months, but I am mostly looking forward to working toward a goal alongside,yet far behind, J.

Reactions

Today I had Cat, Susanne and Darla and their kids (all 8 of them) over to celebrate Cat's birthday. After we ate lunch, the kids were jumping on the trampoline when 2 boys came to report that H's nose had collided with another child's head and was bleeding. I calmly grabbed some Kleenex and found him standing on the trampoline crying with blood dripping past his chin (don't worry, there is not a picture). I grabbed him off the trampoline and carried him to the house and while holding him against my chest got the bleeding stopped. Darla commented a bit later how calm I stayed. I credited it to my nursing training in the emergency room, burn unit and pediatric intensive care unit; those places while help get you over blood and emergencies. I remember how jumpy I was when I first started working and over time you just learn to react with vision to take care of the problem. H quickly calmed down, was upset by his stained shirt, but after we changed him was back to playing. At dinner, I prompted H to tell J what happened. "Daddy, I was on the trampoline and I bumped into Will Brown and I was bleeding!" J: "At a boy H!" and gives him a high five. So where does J accredit that response? I'm not sure.

Hearts

Ek has learned a new skill. I tell you that Kindergarten is big business. I so specifically remember asking my kindergarten teacher how to spell 'I love you' so I could write it to my mom and dad and this ranks right up there. And just in time for Valentine's Day. She has learned to cut out hearts. Yep, fold a square and cut. Yesterday, her backpack was so heavy, from her vest and jacket, but she disagreed, "No, mommy, its all the hearts I cut out." I think she may have cut out 75 hearts yesterday. And not just any hearts, hearts within hearts. Fabulous. Its a lifetime skill that all girls need.

Noises

There are 3 noises that predominate my life. Number One. Whining. Oh my goodness, I had no idea motherhood could involve so much of it. It is like a drain that sucks all the energy out of me some days. I promise H cried every 5 minutes yesterday. Noooo, not H. Yes. H. Whether his feelings were hurt or his body, every 5 minutes. That is all I'm going to say. Number Two. Laughing. I like this much better. Yesterday I was trying to get everything tidy for small group, L was on my hip and I hear the sweetest giggles coming from the foyer. I poke my head into the hallway to say, 'thank you!' and 'way to go!' to find H and Ek on the steps throwing a gum ball machine bouncy ball (J cannot physically walk past one without getting one, I've learned there not really for the kids) off the top of the steps and watching it bounce. Really it is quite entertaining and as a bonus, very low injury rate. They were so happy and playing together. L, immediately upon understanding the game, got down to help retrieve the ball too. Ahhh, I love laughing moments. Number Three. Silence. Now this can be further divided into two categories, one positive and one negative. I love the silence of 3 peacefully sleeping babies. It makes me feel so content knowing they are healthy, tired and peaceful. The other silence makes me nervous, the 'uh-oh I haven't heard them laughing or crying in a few minutes what are the up to' silence. The most recent example was this morning, I let L play in the car while I unloaded the groceries and she found the rest of the Moe's chocolate chip cookie from last night. It made me smile, she was quietly nibbling away. Right now I hear peaceful quiet. I think I'll go finish the girls valentine's day skirts.

Ek had a little lamb

I would like to introduce one of the world's newest pianist, my sweet Ek playing "Mary had a little lamb."

Surprised

Ek may be very disappointed in my posting this one, but I just can't help it. long pause. Yep, she'll be embarrassed one day, but I can't help it, it was funny! sorry honey, here goes... Yesterday we ate lunch at Chili's in Macon after church. Ek needed to go potty so I took her. (really, honey, I'm sorry!) When she sat down, it was an automatic potty and it flushed, she looked up at me with her big eyes and sweet smile and said, "That was surprising!" It still makes me laugh.
Also not embarrassing at all, she said today she walked into her classroom and saw a classmate doing something funny and she said this, "I surprised my eyes when I saw what Ben was saying to Kortney." I had never heard that expression before, she is so cute, so sweet.

Kinda like

Sometimes Ek's opinions are kinda like the weather, if you don't like them just hang around a bit and they'll change. During Christmas when our home was full, she slept in H's room, well she stayed, for several weeks. Loved it, even with his craziness, loved sleeping in his room. One night I asked her after blessing L and walking past her room if she missed it, her reply, 'no, not at all.' Then when she got sick, one night she fell asleep in the car and I put her to bed in her bed so she would stay asleep. Then she was back to her room every night. Well last night mom and dad spent the night and she didn't really want to give up her room to them, but she did and slept in L's room. We piled pillows high so L wouldn't see her if she awoke early. Tonight when I put her to bed she said she was so glad to be back to her room with all her animals and her dolls. Sometimes it can be hard to keep up.